My kids think I’m a little slow and with my left eyelid swollen up like a kalamata olive today, I may look a little dim but I’m actually quite a smart lady.
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Re: the hot stone massage. Clearly your kids have it backwards. My kids believe it is a treat to give me a hot stone massage. This privledge is one only to be enjoyed after rooms are cleaned and teeth are brushed. Somehow that is incentive enough for them to accomplish said task so mom is at their mercy for an hour while they rotate cooled stones with hot ones. Your two are still young enough to be retrained, though I would start out with warming massage oil so as to not burn their little hands.
Mine think I’m slow too – I never fall for the close the door trick . . .
When my second daughter was 3, she would come running downstairs and say, “I’m not doing anyfing!” Really?? Let’s go upstairs and see what exactly “not doing anyfing” really means. My friend’s 3 year old came running downstairs with a purse over her shoulder and said, “There’s nothing in my purse, and I don’t know where the hamsters are.” Really?? Let’s just check out that purse, shall we?
My children are constantly amazed at my super-human sense of hearing (which is actually quite impaired from too many rock concerts of yesteryear). But it doesn’t take much of a sense of hearing to hear the sliding glass door open, the pantry door open, the scrape of a chair along the floor towards the counter, the sound of water running, or a variety other this-can’t-be-good sounds.