This post has been in my heart and on my mind for over a year now. I’ve talked about it. I’ve prayed about it. I’ve taught about it. I was waiting for the right time to post about it and now feels like that time. It’s a post about a tiny little moment that completely changed the way I see myself and others. As I think about it and act on what I learned, I find that I am changed in significant ways every single day.
It was a sunny school morning and I was walking Magoo to the bus stop. I don’t often walk him to the school bus. He’s in second grade and pretty independent and I’m usually busy getting myself and his sisters ready. I’m semi-nocturnal and I sleep later than I should most mornings.
When it’s time for school, he says goodbye and heads up the hill to the bus.
As we got half way to the bus, Magoo reached out and grabbed my hand in an uninhibited way that I knew wouldn’t happen many more times. He’s seven now but growing and how many 12-year-old boys do you see still swinging hands happily with their mommies?
I squeezed his hand, felt the rare Seattle sun on my face, and told him I loved him. I was nearly perfectly happy.
Nearly.
Just at that moment, the thought came into my mind, That’s awesome that you’re walking him to the bus stop and putting on this “mother of the year” act today. What about yesterday and the day before that? You hardly ever walk him to the bus. He’s probably holding your hand because he’s so desperate for the love and attention you haven’t been showing him.
My bubble had burst. I am a crap mom, I thought, as I looked down into his smiling face.
Then another thought came. Kathryn. What is wrong with you? You are being an awesome mom in this moment. Your child is happy. You are loving him and caring for him. He’s well fed and dressed. You’re walking to the bus stop in the early morning and you’re already wearing a bra for heck’s sake. Do not rob yourself of this moment’s joy because of what you failed to do yesterday or what you fear you might not do tomorrow.
This started me thinking of all the times I do something good while beating myself up for all the times I haven’t been perfect.
You’re worshiping in the temple? Woopty freakin do! How long has it been since you came here last? When are you likely to come again? You’re not good at this. This is a fluke.
Wow. So you cleaned the kitchen today. Want a cookie? That dirty rag has been on the counter for a week and those dishes you so righteously cleaned are from breakfast three days ago. You are embarrassing.
That was really nice of you to offer to watch your friend’s kids while she had surgery. Remember last week when you knew your neighbor was suffering from depression and you drove right by with a wave because you did not want to get sucked into the drama? You don’t really care about people. Not all the time.
How destructive are these kinds of thoughts?
As I said goodbye to Magoo and started to walk back home, my mind started to shift.
Drops of Awesome! I thought. Every time you do something good, something kind, something productive, it’s a drop in your Bucket of Awesome. You don’t lose drops for every misstep. You can only build. You can only fill.
I walked Magoo to the bus. Drop of Awesome!
I fed him fruit with breakfast. Drop of Awesome!
I told him I loved him. Drop of Awesome!
I wore a bra and brushed my teeth before schlepping it up that hill. Two Fat Drops of Awesome!
All day long I chanted these words in my head. I picked up that tootsie roll wrapper off the front porch instead of stepping over it for the eleventy hundredth time. Drop of Awesome! I unloaded one dish from the dishwasher when I walked through the kitchen on my way to the bathroom. Drop of Awesome! I texted my sad neighbor to say I was thinking about her. Drop of Awesome! I had a critical thought about one of my kids and I brushed it away and replaced it with love. Drop of Awesome!
When I started thinking about my life in terms of adding these little Drops of Awesome for every tiny act of good, I found that I was doing more and more of them because it’s a lot more fun to do good when you’re rewarded with joy, rather than being guilted about every failure in your past.
By the end of the day, I had realized something important. If I was spending time with my kids, really listening to them with attention in the moment, then I was a good listener, regardless of the 50 other times I’d brushed them off or multi-tasked while they were talking over the past week. If I was engaged in sincere prayer with my Heavenly Father, really communing with him and seeking his will, then I was a person who engages in sincere prayer, regardless of how my prayers were (or weren’t) yesterday and the day before that and the day before that.
As I added up these Drops of Awesome, I found that in those moments I actually became the person I had always wanted to be.
Have you ever said any of these things: “Well, I guess I don’t work out anymore,” because you missed one workout? Or, “I always fight with my brother. Our relationship is broken.” What about, “I’m kind of a nag to my spouse.” Or “I gossip and I always end up hurting people I love.” “I can’t stop spending money. We will never get out of debt.” “My house is always a disaster.”
These things are lies, depending on the next decision you make, the next Drop of Awesome you put in your bucket. You may have done these things or have a hard time with them but they don’t define you and you can change this very instant. You may not think you can change permanently but you can change the next choice you make. And as you change that one next tiny choice, you may think, I got this one Drop of Awesome but I may never be able to get another one again.
And that’s okay.
You made the right choice once. And in that moment you were the person you want to be and that is a triumph. For one night, you were a person who went to bed early. One morning you woke up and the first words out of your mouth were positive so you were a morning person in that moment. Bam! Drop of Awesome.
You do not need to wait three months to be who you want to be. Pick up ten things right now and say, “Drops of Awesome! I am someone who takes care of my house. That is who I am. I have proof.”
In the end, it’s really about allowing yourself to feel joy and allowing yourself to be proud of the small victories of life. This builds momentum and you want more drops in your bucket and when you don’t get as many, you pick yourself up and say, “What can I do next?”
Now, there are a whole lot of religious implications to this because, as a Christian, I believe that you are not the only one adding these Drops of Awesome to your bucket. Christ commanded us to be perfect, but through His atonement, He is with us every step of the way.
As an object lesson when I was teaching this to the teenage girls at church, I gave them each a small dropper and I put a 2-quart bowl on the table. I told them that throughout the lesson they would get the chance to put drops in the bucket for every Drop of Awesome they could think of that they’d done. I promised them that we would fill the bowl to overflowing by the end of the lesson.
With about 5 minutes to go, we had barely begun to fill the bowl and the girls were looking around at each other nervously. The promised overflow did not look likely. Were they not awesome enough?
At that point, I pulled out a large pitcher labeled ATONEMENT and poured water into the glass bowl until it was spilling out all over the table and the towel the bowl was resting on. The class went silent.
When we are in a relationship with Christ, striving as God’s sons and daughters to do His will, He pours more into our buckets than we can ever hope to imagine. He can fill us to overflowing with peace, with joy, with perfection, with Awesome. And then what do we do if our bucket is overflowing like that? Where does the Awesome go then?
I pulled out an identical bowl, twice the size of the original. Our capacity for joy and light increases. And we just keep working, one tiny drop at a time. And we don’t compare today’s drops to yesterday’s or tomorrow’s. And we live and we love and we repent when we do wrong and we allow ourselves to be glorious, beautiful, and dare I say perfect in Christ, children of God.
I believe in a God who loves us and roots for us and cheers for every Drop of Awesome we can manage. Our victories are His victories and He wants us to feel joy. Not later, when we no longer make mistakes, but right now.
I’m gonna close this uber long post out with a scripture from the Book of Mormon. I know many of you do not share my faith but I think you’ll find truth in these words:
“Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise.” (Alma 37:6)
Small and simple. Tiny drops. Go forth. Be Awesome.
The Drops of Awesome: You’re-More-Awesome-Than-You-Think Journal is now available from Amazon. Collect your drops!
Heather you are Awesome! Your bucket was filled the day you were born! I love you!
I appreciate your thoughts on the self-loathing that we, especially as women, carry with us so often. I agree too that it is only through our faith in Christ that we can have our focus shifted. But I would take your thought even further. Instead of shifting the focus from all the bad we do to the occasional good that we do, how about shifting away from ourselves completely? How about shifting our focus to the fact that Christ has done ALL that is required for us and freeing ourselves from the thoughts of ourselves at all?
I think our problem comes from the command by Jesus to be perfect. And not only perfect in deed, but also in our thoughts. This causes us great angst because if we are honest we realize that we aren’t. We don’t love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. We don’t love our neighbors as ourselves. No matter how good we try to be, we will never meet God’s standard of perfection. The Bible says that all of our righteous deeds are like a “polluted garment” (Isaiah 64:6). Our own righteousness is simply not good enough and never will be, no matter how hard we try.
That’s why Jesus lived a perfect life in full obedience to the law of God in thought, word and deed. Jesus’ mission wasn’t simply to die on the cross for our sins, but also to live a life of perfect righteousness. Everything He did was perfect. His death pays our sin debt before God, but it is His perfect life that really saves us and gives us the perfection God requires.
Through our faith in Christ, the righteousness of God is given to us. When we place our faith in Christ, God ascribes the perfect righteousness of Christ to our account so that we become perfect in His sight. “For our sake he made him [Jesus] to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Corinthians 5:21).
Now THAT’S something to focus on!
Thanks for these thoughts Cindy! What a gift.
I discovered your blog, because one of my Facebook friends liked this post. It really struck me with such force, because I do this to myself all the time. Thank you for putting into words, the desire of my heart; a means to be able to overcome that negative voice in my head, and have a word picture to keep applying the atonement in my life. I will be coming back often to learn other things; because I have confidence that you will teach me more. Thanks.
WOW! Thank you for such a wonderful reminder! The ATONEMENT makes each tiny act, each DROP, a cupfull! I was just thinking this New Year’s morning, as I spent my first minutes reading scriptures, writing in my journal and communing with my Father, how much I have always wanted to be an instrument in HIS hands. And the thought came to me that I have not done a very good job of being that instrument. I then thought of some of the things I HAD done. Some of the people I may have touched and was reminded that so often the little things we do that DO help people… we are seldom truly aware of the good we do.
I needed to hear this today! Thank you so much for articulating it all so well!
Hugs to you!
How awesome! Thank you for this beautiful post. This helps me realize the foolishness of the old cliche of ‘I’ll be happy when…’ is just Satan’s way of getting into our heads that we will never, ever be enough for anyone, including Heavenly Father. But we can be enough even if it’s just one drop at a time, precept on precept, one breath to another, especially through the Atonement of Jesus Christ that is continuous and as long as we want to keep striving.
Thank you for sharing your amazing insight! I was strolling through Pinterest looking for lesson ideas for my YW girls and came upon this pin. I love the idea and also the lesson taught. I think this will impact me more than my girls. Thank you, thank you I really needed this! You are a million drops of awesome for sharing and your YW girls are lucky to have you!
I like to dwell my mind on the scripture that says that “if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness…my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me and have faith in me then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”
One of my all-time favorites. Thank you Dora!
I love this post. Thanks for explaining it so well!
What you are talking about is actually a legitimate cognitive behavioral therapy technique psychiatrists use to help people who are suffering from depression. The essence of it is to give one’s self approval for every single good thing that we do, no matter how small. We really do need approval from ourselves.
“Drops of awesome” is a fantastic thing to call it.
This comment reminds me of What About Bob’s baby steps. It is possible that it had its roots in therapy I’ve been through. Thanks for your insight!
Thanks so much! I found this through my sister on Facebook. What a great post to read on New Year’s Day – the day of resolutions! May I add one “Drop of Awesome” to my bowl each & everyday (hopefully many drops most days!!) – as I strive to be the person Heavenly Father knows I can be. He has confidence in me – so why don’t I? I CAN DO IT!!
Beautiful object lesson. Very powerful. Very thot provoking. Very insightful. And you have a delightful way of expressing yourself and describing things. THANK YOU.
I wish I coul dhave realized these things when I was a young mother. Now I am a Grandmother and I know that these things are a deeply truthful principle. Grace is a deeply healing and motivating truth. Thank you for sharing this!
I’m so glad I took the time to read this blog post – what a lift up it was! As moms, whether young or old, we quite often dwell in ‘what if’s’ & ‘if only’s’ – I LOVE this outlook & the liberating feeling of simply appreciating the awesome things we do accomplish!
I love this post and it is so on target!! May I copy and share this with someone who has NO access to a computer but really needs the message? Thanks again!
Go for it Pam. I’m glad you liked it!
Kathryn,
Thank you for your message of truth and beauty. I needed it. I’m sure this message of self-acceptance and joy in the moment would be the words that Christ would tell us. Drops of awesome! He never belittles our small attempts. Those deflating, dark and doubting thoughts are exactly the opposite of what Christ tells us, and His opposite is their source.
Mahalo and Happy New Year!
What a wise young woman you are….I believe if we can approach each new day loving this life, with “drops of awesome”, those around us will learn to do the same, and this can be a glorious place to live.
Thanks so much for your encouraging words. I really needed to read this message tonight as moments before I read this I examined my life with a magnifying glass and all I saw was a drought of awesome. I’m a mom to four littles and I run a business–there’s always something that’s being forgotten or neglected. But I will focus more on what/who I remembered and what/who I took the time to pay attention to. : )
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I really needed to read your words today. You deserve a whole bucket of awesome!
This post changed my life today and was exactly what I needed. Thank you so much.
Great article!! I will have to remember my drops when I feel critical of myself as we all have at least one drop of awesome a day ! Blessings to you 🙂
I will have to remember this when I’ve been to critical of myself as we all have at least one drop of awesome every day ! Thank you for your great article
Wonderfully uplifting message to all Mothers, Sisters, Wives, Daughters! Thank you for your insight and message. I will be blessed for it as I consider my “drops” each day!
Love it. Needed this today. Thank You.
Thank you – exactly what I needed to read today, and again tomorrow, and the next….
thanks for that! Such great advice!
I can’t begin to tell you how much I needed this. You will probably never know how much this has saved me. Thank you so very much. Bless you.
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Drops of Awesome … the Lord’s Tender Mercies … choosing to be happy — Each day, each moment is unique and important and the sum-total of each day is spectacular <3 thank you, thank you for an added dimension to my days.
Thank you for sharing something so deeply personal. The truth of your thoughts rings strong in my heart. You have touched my spirit.
Thank you Karla and everyone else for being so kind and generous. We really are all in this together.
Wow! I was so touched by your words I started crying. Thank you! I am going to share this with as many people as I can!
Thanks for being so REAL, it’s refreshing.
This is so wonderful and clear. I happened upon this while strolling through Pinterest under the “everything” tab. The insight and spirit in which this is shared comes through. thank you.
What an awesome post! I really appreciate your perspective as I personally have each and every one of those flaws you mentioned. Thank you for reminding me that even when I’m not adding to it, I still have my bowl of awesome sitting there waiting for more drops!
Love the thought of the bowl just sitting there waiting for you to be awesome.
Thank you
This is a really great post, so glad I found it and that you gave voice to something that has been rattling around in my head as well. I think you’d really enjoy the short book containing the letters of a 17th century monk named Father Lawerence. You only need to google the title of the collection of letters – called “Practicing the Presence of God”. He spends some time developing a similar approach to his weaknesses and the way that he addresses them with God. He suggests that the repentance process is most successful when we don’t beat ourselves up about our weaknesses. You will love it, and could probably read it in a night or two.
Thanks again for the post and your perspective.
Thank you so much. I just downloaded it as an ebook from my library and look forward to reading it.
This was so totally what I needed in this moment. Last year I went through a massive suicidal depression and I am still rebuilding my inner self and this is a great thought to add to my arsenal of weapons to continue the battle. Once I am back to my “real” self, I am hoping to use my experience to reach out to others considering suicide. I am getting closer, but every once in a while, Satan convinces me AGAIN with his lies. Now I can tell go back to hell, because I am gathering drops of awesome… Thank you…
I am so glad it spoke to you Barbara. You’re definitely not alone in your struggles. Keep focusing on the light.
Wow, I almost cried my eyes out reading this – you are describing exactly the kinds of thoughts and beating up of myself I do every day. I ignore anything I have ever done well in exchange for negativity that doesn’t help me feel better. I really appreciate this perspective and reading this post came at a time I have really been needing it. Thanks so much for sharing this!
Thank you for sharing! This is so encouraging!!
I just want to say thank you so much for this wonderful and inspiring post!!!
I couldn’t help but think of you as an. older woman the whole time I read your words, because they seemed too wise for someone who is young.
How exciting for you to realize this at such a n ideal time so that your children can benefit so much.
Well, I’m not as young as I once was… You should never pick a blog title that keeps you a fixed age. I don’t know. Maybe it will keep me young when I’m a 40 or 50-year-old Daring Young Mom. 🙂
Thank you so much for that beautiful post!!! Right now I am really being pulled down by Satan’s hands. Of course he uses family to do the work for him. Today I have felt lower than a snake’s belly. But after reading this I am renewed! Again thank you
Good luck Joyce. I’m so glad this helped a bit.
Thank you, thank you, thank you…I really needed to read this today.
Thank you so much. This is a wonderful perspective to start out a new year! I sincerely appreciate it.
Oh this was just all kinds of awesome and I may want to use this as part of my YW lesson on Sunday. I think it will work in well with studying this month’s topic for the new curriculum. Drops of Awesome, line upon line, here a little and there a little. Love it. Need it. Live it.
Thank you for this wonderful insight and post.
Wow!!!
Your message was a reminder of a little voice I heard inside my head about spending more quality time with my oldest son who is 8. I and my husband are full time students in the middle of our bachelors programs and consumed with trying to stay afloat, raise our 3 boys, do our very best in school, and always thinking ahead to the next semester. What are we going to do about this… what about that… etc. But not always thinking about right now and how we are spending each moment with our children. Do they see themselves as not important enough at times? I pray they don’t! But your message brought me to tears and helped me remember what is most important. Family! I want to thank you for your inspiring message . Thank you from the bottom of my heart. 🙂
I think you just added lots of drops of awesome to your bucket! Thanks for the fantastic inspiration. My kids are still little, but I think I’ll be sharing this at Family Night anyway.
That was so powerful! Thank you for the light that was brought into my soul by your words. I will be forever thankful for this new insight brought about by a drop of awesome!
I feel an awesome early morning seminary object lesson coming next week when we study the atonement! Perhaps the most touching part of your post for me personally was in your object lesson when you pulled out a bigger bowl. “My cup runneth over.”
Thank you for this gift. I so needed to hear these words and have faith that I am not a bad mom/wife/friend/coworker/human being for all of the things I don’t do. Many blessings to you and yours –
Thank you so much for your post! I love your analogy of “Drops of awesome”. I’m absolutely passing this on because I know a lot of people (including myself) can relate to your experiences. You are Awesome!